The Art of Man Purse Analysis
Okay man-purse lovers, are you ready for the results of the 'Inside Simeon's Man Purse' contest? The winner was Courtney who suspected that he had a book, and a wallet! Great job, Courtney--you really have Simeon figured out!
Below are the juicy bits of details I'm sure you've been waiting for. By studying the contents of a pickup artist's man purse, perhaps we will all gain further insight into the complex art of seduction! (Is it possible that man purse analysis is an art in it of itself?)
The first thing that stood out to me in Simeon's bag was the razor. I'd like to point out that this is not just any old razor, but a borrowed razor. What does this tell me? A razor says that Simeon is a guy with a lot of facial and/or body hair. A borrowed razor tells me that Simeon is a charming guy - so much that someone might give him a shirt off their proverbial back, or in this case, a razor out of their shaving bag.
Another goodie in Simeon's bag is his dragon lighter. Does Simeon smoke? Nope. Was he a boy scout, and simply always prepared in case of emergencies? No, not quite. So what is the point of carrying this dragon lighter? I would assume that Simeon, being the gentleman that he is, is always prepared to provide the fire to light a future friend's cigarette. The fact that it's in the shape of a dragon tells me that Simeon might have played some D&D in his life (In my opinion, D&D can be a very handsome pursuit.) If not that, perhaps it is a gift from someone who frequents renaissance fairs.
Did you see 'A Beautiful Mind'? Russell Crowe's character John Nash would totally use poetry like this to seduce Jennifer Connelly's character, Alicia.The last thing that stood out to me in Simeon's bag was his sketchpad. Does Simeon draw? Not from what I could tell, but instead of sketching in his sketchpad, Simeon crafts special graphical poems in a format he invented, called, Lattice Poetry. It's one (seductive) thing to keep a book of poems in your man purse (which Simeon actually did have, from a recent visit to City Lights Book Store) but to have a book of your own poems, in your own poetic format? Let's just say that Simeon puts the 'artist' in 'Pickup Artist'. Here's the complete list of items in his bag and my analysis of those items (Sorry fans, no feather boa's in sight!):
- Sweater (shows practicality and planning for the future )
- Sketch Pad (self expressive)
- Toothbrush (doesn't want to offend those he's closest to)
- CD & DVD (on top of pop culture)
- Borrowed Razor (charmingly in control of his facial hair)
- Multi vitamins - L-Lysine (Simeon told me that L-Lysine is good for stress/canker sores. He did not say specifically that is why he took it. Some of you may remember that the dinosaurs on Jurassic Park took Lysine supplements as well. I don't know what that says about Simeon, but I just thought I'd point it out.)
- Lattice Poetry (creative/inventive)
- Screenplay (industrious)
- Wallet (everyone's got this--no biggie)
- iPhone (communication and relationship are important to Simeon)
- Alleve (has arthritis?)
- Napkins (messy eater)
- Dragon Lighter (enjoys fantasy, very social, doesn't hate smokers)
- Old Receipts (not comfortable throwing things away)
- Chain w/ secret inscription from friend Alex (beloved to his friends)
- Scissors (crafty diy'er)
So what do you think? Is man purse analysis an art comparable to the art of seduction?
Coming soon is a self-submitted profile from my favorite ESL Teacher/travel writer, Matthew Crompton.



What's In Your Man Purse?
Reader Comments (2)
I can't move beyond - nor do I WANT to move beyond - the dragon lighter. That is just a burning slice of awesome right there. Did you get a good look at it - was it big? Di the flame come out f the dragon's mouth? Was it a regular yellow Bic flame, or one of those crazy blue jet flames?
He must have had quite a large (and/or well-organized) bag for all that stuff!
MORE MANPURSE!!!