Guest blogger "The Always-Hungry Husband" here! Today, as our Head Mursenary prepares for a weekend satchel safari, it is my privilege to peruse the Submit-A-Man archives and present to you a Fantasy Four that breaks with tradition not only in its authorial composition, but also in its conspicuous lack of last names.
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen (and probably a lady again): Fabio.
Thank you Akila for suggesting Fabio to our Submit-A-Man. While he’s never been spotted with a man purse to our knowledge, it’s clear that a man of such prodigious accomplishments must have an appropriate accessory both for the carrying of things, and, um, the looking of good. A metaphor, for your consideration: just as ol’ ‘sinistra e destra’ form the strong foundation of a triumphal Viking conquest-pose, so must Fabio’s manbag maintain the perfect balance of rugged masculinity and feminine sensibility that has made Fabio the undisputed king of romance.
Well, I guess, technically the title of "King of Romance" is disputed by one Englebert Humperdinck, but I don’t think this will become a dispute of or anything. Anyway – on to the show!
I’ve picked out a few man bags for Fabio:
A compact shoulder bag with compact pouches, this Billingham Hadley Shoulder Bag is a small package for a big man. Disarmingly confident and cutely rotund, this is no briefcase in disguise! Insecure men: watch out, this bag is not for you!
While maybe not quite as nice as Gwyneth, this Matt and Nat Carlton Paltrow Bag is no nonsense without being all business. Plus, it’s eco-chic and vegan – perfect for Fabio and his many causes, including his allegedly rescued dogs!
An uncompromising bag; a bag that laughs in the face of danger; a bag prepared for the roughest adventure, and determined to look fabulous while on it. This Ellington Otis Elite Hollister Satchel is supple, durable, fashionable, and functional - truly an accessory to be reckoned with. Or, I guess, technically, "an accessory with which to be reckoned."
A bag so raw it demands a narrative description:
"… breathless, with a fire in her bosom like the jungle’s own heat, Shayla froze as the long grasses parted, revealing the hungry eyes of the powerful predator. Her exhaustion melted into a frozen terror – but, as the lithe hunter drew closer to her, sniffing her, circling her, she submitted herself to him entirely, at the mercy of the perfect creature before her…"
Your thoughts? And don’t worry – we’re not done with Fabio until next week’s Fantasy Four!